A woman of smiles is a woman of tears.
I don't know exactly what happened. It just... happened.
Someone pushed me to type these words I dug in my heart. To write something joyful, I have to feel it first. The reason why I just can't be myself while writing an Artist's Statement is because, the painting is just so lovely.. inspiring... captivating... far from what I have inside.. empty.
I want to know! To explore! To discover. I want to... break free.. I want to fully understand who I am and what I am. What I want and what I deserve. But doing so, will probably break somebody's heart.
I loved him. Perhaps, I still love him. But feelings change as humans change. I've changed. My heart changed. I learned to open my eyes from the blinding light. Truth hurts. Goodbye hurts.
I met someone who probably saw the inner glow of my soul and put it in canvas. I was enticed by the woman I saw. She's full of love, hope, desire, happiness... I envied the woman. How I wish I could be her! I cannot say anything to express the woman's feeling for I do not feel it for myself. I suddenly realized, I'm empty.
I don't think I need someone to complete me. I need to complete myself for the person whom I will love. I need to reacquaint myself with love. I need to relearn how to love after the heart's been shattered. I need to do it for myself.
Going back to the painting, I was tasked to do another statement for another painting featuring me and my deceitful smile. I was tasked to write the statement straight from the heart. What's in my heart? Fear, sorrow, guilt, emptiness. Yeah! What a great feeling to share with a wonderful masterpiece! Harhar!
Maybe I'll just wait til the tide in my soul gets low.. Until I finally see the dawn in my life. That sunshine they see in eyes. I will thrive.. I will strive.. I will be happy.. for real. ;) yey!
A smile that makes the sea creatures laud beauty. haha!
Popular Posts
-
Dear soulmate, Hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka, kung sino ka at kung saan ka nakatira. Pwedeng kahit minsan hindi pa tayo nagkikita. Pwede rin...
-
"Nitong umaga lang, pagkalambing-lambing ng iyong mga matang hayop kung tumingin." Wala naman sa isip ko na makilal...
-
Lahat na yata ng bagay sa mundo ay pinapairal ng mga 'instructions'. Mula sa pagluluto ng instant noodles hanggang sa paglalaga... -
March 17, 2011 I was eating my dinner beside the aquarium. Then he came. A face in the darkness of the night. Standing. Frozen. That big wi...
-
With our busy schedule, work, projects and all, sometimes we just want to 'break away' from all these huzz and buzz of our busy live... -
All For Love.. Lahat para sa Pag-ibig. I always thought that Love is as easy as "I love you, and You love me." But things turn... -
Hindi ko malilimutan ang isang 'tweet' ng isang sikat na fast food chain kung saan nagtanong ito kung sino ang mas pipiliin mo,...
-
Dear Diary of a loser soul, hear me now as I come and crawl into your womb to seek and to hide, to hide from commotions to seek for your... -
Laya Nagtatangkang tumakbo tumakas palayo saiyo ngunit ang kadenang ito nakagapos parin sa mga paa ko. Sinubukan na ang lah... -
The cave, quiet and mysterious, Its tracks muddy and perilous. Without the bats that give its nature, To be dark, creepy and solitary, O...
No comments:
Post a Comment