Kasabay ng pagpatak ng ulan sa aking mga mata,
ang pagguho ng larawan mo sa aking alaala.
Bakit nga ba kailangang magkaganito?
Ang dati mong pagsuyo'y bigla na lamang naglaho.
Ang gabing ito na tila ba'y walang wakas,
waring ang umaga'y kay ilap, kay lakas.
Nanghihinang mga bisig sa iyo parin kumakapit
Nagbabakasaling muling yakapin nang kay higpit.
Ako ba'y matutuwa?
Ako ba'y magwawala?
Sa piling mo lamang ako liligaya.
Ang pira-pirasong puso dinurog, kinuyog.
Paano pa babangon sa delubyo na iyong idinulot.
At kung ito man ay pagsubok sa pag-ibig ko saiyo,
Sana'y maunawaan mong hirap na ang puso ko.
Sa mga sugat na dulot mo,
Sa pagpatak ng aking mga luha dahil sa'yo.
Anong iwas man saiyo, aking gawin,
Wasak na puso ko, ika'y sambit parin.
Nanginginig, nanlalamig,
Nalilito, nanlulumo...
Minsan pa'y ipadama mo na,
sanhi at dulot ng iyong pagkawala...
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Sunday, July 13, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
A Narrative of Random Thoughts from a Crazy Woman.
A woman of smiles is a woman of tears.
I don't know exactly what happened. It just... happened.
Someone pushed me to type these words I dug in my heart. To write something joyful, I have to feel it first. The reason why I just can't be myself while writing an Artist's Statement is because, the painting is just so lovely.. inspiring... captivating... far from what I have inside.. empty.
I want to know! To explore! To discover. I want to... break free.. I want to fully understand who I am and what I am. What I want and what I deserve. But doing so, will probably break somebody's heart.
I loved him. Perhaps, I still love him. But feelings change as humans change. I've changed. My heart changed. I learned to open my eyes from the blinding light. Truth hurts. Goodbye hurts.
I met someone who probably saw the inner glow of my soul and put it in canvas. I was enticed by the woman I saw. She's full of love, hope, desire, happiness... I envied the woman. How I wish I could be her! I cannot say anything to express the woman's feeling for I do not feel it for myself. I suddenly realized, I'm empty.
I don't think I need someone to complete me. I need to complete myself for the person whom I will love. I need to reacquaint myself with love. I need to relearn how to love after the heart's been shattered. I need to do it for myself.
Going back to the painting, I was tasked to do another statement for another painting featuring me and my deceitful smile. I was tasked to write the statement straight from the heart. What's in my heart? Fear, sorrow, guilt, emptiness. Yeah! What a great feeling to share with a wonderful masterpiece! Harhar!
Maybe I'll just wait til the tide in my soul gets low.. Until I finally see the dawn in my life. That sunshine they see in eyes. I will thrive.. I will strive.. I will be happy.. for real. ;) yey!
A smile that makes the sea creatures laud beauty. haha!
I don't know exactly what happened. It just... happened.
Someone pushed me to type these words I dug in my heart. To write something joyful, I have to feel it first. The reason why I just can't be myself while writing an Artist's Statement is because, the painting is just so lovely.. inspiring... captivating... far from what I have inside.. empty.
I want to know! To explore! To discover. I want to... break free.. I want to fully understand who I am and what I am. What I want and what I deserve. But doing so, will probably break somebody's heart.
I loved him. Perhaps, I still love him. But feelings change as humans change. I've changed. My heart changed. I learned to open my eyes from the blinding light. Truth hurts. Goodbye hurts.
I met someone who probably saw the inner glow of my soul and put it in canvas. I was enticed by the woman I saw. She's full of love, hope, desire, happiness... I envied the woman. How I wish I could be her! I cannot say anything to express the woman's feeling for I do not feel it for myself. I suddenly realized, I'm empty.
I don't think I need someone to complete me. I need to complete myself for the person whom I will love. I need to reacquaint myself with love. I need to relearn how to love after the heart's been shattered. I need to do it for myself.
Going back to the painting, I was tasked to do another statement for another painting featuring me and my deceitful smile. I was tasked to write the statement straight from the heart. What's in my heart? Fear, sorrow, guilt, emptiness. Yeah! What a great feeling to share with a wonderful masterpiece! Harhar!
Maybe I'll just wait til the tide in my soul gets low.. Until I finally see the dawn in my life. That sunshine they see in eyes. I will thrive.. I will strive.. I will be happy.. for real. ;) yey!
A smile that makes the sea creatures laud beauty. haha!
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